It’s Not All Roses And Rainbows, But It Isn’t All Bad Either


You find out information that rocks your world to the very core. You spend several days or weeks or months absorbing this news and realigning every thing you thought you knew about yourself, your parents, your siblings. Then you embark on a quest to rewrite your history and fill in a large hole at your very center.

For me the DNA rabbit hole sucked me in and consumed a large part of my time. I was obsessed with the hunt for answers, explanations, and the back story. Unless you have had a NPE you can’t understand that driving urge to know. I was one of the lucky ones, I found a first cousin immediately and she was a real sweetheart. Through her I found a large circle of first and second cousins as well as an uncle and two aunts. We are certain the only other son in the family was my BF. (There’s even a whole new language we learn on this journey!) I have two living half sisters and two that have died. My BF has died and so has my mother; they evidently were very careful to cover their tracks and if it hadn’t been for that Christmas present of a DNA kit I guess that little secret would have gone to their graves with them.

I reached out to my new half sisters and so far one has responded and I haven’t heard from the other. Let’s just say I’m not planning on any adorable photo shoots or making any plans for the holidays with her. She told me she couldn’t see why I would want to pursue any type of relationship. After her two emails, I think I’m pretty sure nobody wants to pursue a relationship with her.

I have been welcomed with open arms by the cousins and so, for now, I will enjoy the new extended family and try to learn as much as I can from them about the father I will never know.